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Trump: Facebook for Freeloading Foreigners

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MADISON — Donald Trump, who outrageously declared an entire religion to be personas non grata on America’s shores during his campaign for the GOP Presidential nomination, is now calling for the government takeover of social media to track immigrants in this country.

“Forty percent of illegal immigrants in the United States arrived here with an authorized visa and that is a YUGE part of our immigration problem,” declared the bombastic billionaire at a town hall meeting in the Wisconsin capitol during the run up to the state’s primary next Tuesday. “I just don’t let people check into my fabulous hotels and never check out, though, quite frankly, I understand why they would want to stay because they are the best hotels in the world justFacebook Users at Work like America is the best country in the world. But that’s five or six million people that the government has somehow lost track of that shouldn’t be here any more! You know we don’t have the smartest people in our government, so I say let the private sector do it.”

Trump then called for giving every foreigner coming into the country a government smart phone and a Facebook account already set up with Immigration and Customs Enforcement agents as their “friends,” so their activities and locations can be tracked via their photos, videos and status updates.

The proposal drew an immediate firestorm of denunciations on-line, including a scathing rebuke from Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg, who expressed outrage and incredulity that the social networking service he founded should be used as a weapon of oppression against innocent immigrants.

“Facebook is not a tool to spy on people,” Zuckerberg declared. “And Trump’s page should be blocked for saying such un-American things.”

Founded in 2004, the website has grown to 1.6 billion users world-wide. After registering to use the site, users can create a user profile, add other users as “friends”, exchange messages, post status updates and photos, share videos, use various apps and receive notifications when others update their profiles. Additionally, users may join common-interest user groups, organized by workplace, school or college, or other characteristics, and categorize their friends into lists such as “People From Work” or “Close Friends”. Also users can complain or block unpleasant people, like Republicans.

Although dismissed immediately by Democrat candidate Hillary Clinton as patently absurd and mean spirited, her rivalMelania Trump Bernie Sanders noted that having the government “picking your friends” might be an idea worth exploring, as it would lead to a more equitable and fair distribution of relationships for minorities in a society with such a long history of racism and discrimination.

“What a lying loser,” Trump later tweeted about Zuckerberg. “Spying on people is exactly what Facebook is all about and everybody knows it.”

Donald Trump is married to former model Melania Knauss.

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