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Disorder In & Outside the Court

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MUDCAT FALLS — Police were called to the parking lot behind the Calabash County Courthouse to subdue a pair of litigants who apparently took their legal dispute “out back.”

Freddie Marks and Carl Ingalls, along with dozens of associates, were arrested and charged with assault & battery, unlawful assembly  and disorderly conduct after Judge Aristotle Needlemensch dismissed a lawsuit brought by Ingalls against the Comintern Legion for an Anarchist Putsch and its Chairman, Marks, citing fraud, negligence, intentional infliction of mental anguish and loss of consort. The suit demanded unspecified damages.

“For nihilists, they seemed fairly obsessed with organization, titles and parliamentary procedure,” said attorney Steve Dallas, who represented Marks. “I wouldn’t think anarchists would turn to the courts for redress, but, hey, a billable hour is a billable hour.”

The lawsuit and subsequent altercation had its roots in a disagreement between Marks and Ingalls over the management structure and administration of CLAP. Whereas Ingalls preferred the group to be run by committee, Marks apparently seized power and instituted one man rule, which Ingalls called a “cult of the personality.”

“It was simply chaos — pandemonium,” said Sheriff Atticus W. Moosejowl. “I ain’t seen nothing like it since Nam.”

Marks and Ingalls remain in jail, as the CLAP treasury did not have enough cash to post their bail.

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  1. February 1st, 2011 at 19:11 | #1

    Very clever allusion to a famous historical duo, using the names “Freddie Marks and Carl Ingalls” together. I like that.

    Carl Ingalls

    • February 2nd, 2011 at 08:04 | #2

      Thanks — Sorry your lawsuit got thrown out of court.

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