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CDR: Telourette’s Syndrome

Telourette syndrome (also known as la télévision de la Tourette syndrome) is an inherited neuropsychiatric media disorder with onset in adulthood, characterized by multiple vocal (phonic) tics manifested in inane opinions and observations, often accompanied by one or more physical (motor) tics. These tics characteristically wax and wane, though research has found evidence of a direct causal relationship with exposure to modern TV studio lighting. Telourette’s is defined as part of a spectrum of Poli-tic disorders, which includes partisan, legislative and campaign tics.

Telourette’s was once considered a rare and bizarre syndrome, most often associated with the exclamation of obscene words or socially inappropriate and derogatory gestures or remarks at cable music award shows, but this symptom is present in only a small minority of people with Telourette’s. With the explosion of cable news networks, Telourette’s is no longer considered a rare condition, but it may not always be correctly identified because most cases are classified as mild. Between 1 and 100 pundits per 100 have Telourette’s. In rare cases, people with Telourette’s have been known to have normal intelligence, but often suffer less than normal career life expectancies.

Genetic, environmental and political factors play a role in the etiology of Telourette’s, but the exact causes are unknown. In most cases, medication is unnecessary, though often desired, especially by viewers, with alcohol being the most popular drug of choice. Education is an important part of any treatment plan, though is often studiously ignored by Telourette insufferables.

See also ABC, CBS, NBC, Fox News, CNN, MSNBC, CNBC, Meet the Press, Fox News Sunday, This Week with Christiane Amanpour, Face the Nation, Sean Hannity, Bill O’Reilly, Chris Matthews, Keith Olberman, Wolf Blitzer, Bill Bennett, Paul Begala, Carl Bernstein, Donna Brazile, Gloria Borger, David Gergen, Amy Holmes, Roland Martin, Jeffrey Toobin, Jamal Simmons, Eleanor Clift, Fred Barnes, Morton Kondracke, Michael Barone, Dick Morris, William Kristol, Juan Williams, Ann Coulter, Bob Beckel, Peter Mirijanian, Rachel Sklar, Mike Barnicle, Howard Fineman, ad naseum



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