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CDR: Siamese Twideologies

Conjoined twideologies (also known as Siamese twideologies) are diametrically opposed concepts, viewpoints, opinions, or political positions, whose bodies are joined in crainio, and find oral expression in campaign speeches, legislative debate and media interviews. Once thought to be a rare phenomenon, occurrences have become more commonplace, which a consensus of scientists attributes to repeated and prolonged exposure to political polling and cable news programming. Approximately half are stillborn and a smaller fraction of pairs which survive a twenty-four hour news cycle have abnormalities incompatible with common sense and reality.

Conjoined twideologies should not be confused with the so-called political “flip-flop” in that the politician actually endeavors to accomplish the epistemological, ethical and metaphysical impossibility of occupying two discrete points of space on the political spectrum at the same time.

The most famous conjoined twideologies are:

Democrat:  “I oppose the war, but support the troops.”

Republican:  “I support the workers, but oppose the union leadership.”

See also Politicians, Democrats, Republicans, Presidents, Senators, Congressmen



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