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CDR: Myopolitical Infarcation

Myopolitical infarction (MI) or acute myopolitical infarction (AMI), commonly known as a gaffe attack, is the interruption of vocal thought control due to occlusion (blockage) of Cranial Nerve VII for facial motor control, including the lips, and the Glossopharyngeal Cranial Nerve IX for pharyngeal movement, resulting in the eruption of ill-timed and ill-advised comments, statements and proclamations. Atheropolitical bloviating ruptures from an unstable collection of lipids (fatty pundits), causing donation ischemia (restriction in campaign blood supply), media oxygen shortage and polling angina. If left untreated for a sufficient period of time, can cause damage or death to a political career.

Classical symptoms of acute myopolitical infarction include sudden media pain (typically radiating from talk radio to alternative media to cable news to Comedy Central to newspapers to network nightly newscasts ), as well as shortness of breath, nausea, vomiting, palpitations, sweating, and anxiety (often described as a sense of impending doom), particularly among campaign staff, consultants and party supporters. Approximately 60-70% of all liberal myopolitical infarctions are “silent”, without comment or note from Mainstream Media outlets.

See also Barack Obama, Joe Biden, George W. Bush, Dan Quayle, Spiro Agnew, Gerald Ford, et al




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